Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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