There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
