he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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