I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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