For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
