Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
