...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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