I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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