remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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