quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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