Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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