You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
