I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Randomize
