then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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