If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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