problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
