i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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