butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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