Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
