Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
