I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
