You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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