If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
