I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
