How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
