when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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