I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
