I understand Curling. That high.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
