Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
