You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
