i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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