Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
