talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The power of my boobs compel you
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
