Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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