the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
