nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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