tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
