At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
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it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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