I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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