So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
