All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
