just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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