yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he shaved USA in his pubs
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
