I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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