White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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