she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
