Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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