I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
