is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
