is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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