i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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