Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
