ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
