Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
