Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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