The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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