I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Randomize
