On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sext me about skeletons
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize