You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize