My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
