If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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