Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize