When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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