Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
its not stalking. its research.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
