ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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