I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
FUCK WHALES
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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