I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
