He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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