honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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